Wednesday

McGovern's anyone?

26-Year-Old To See Every Asshole He Ever Went To High School With On Night Before Thanksgiving



NEW YORK—For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.

The trip back home, scheduled for later this week, will reportedly bring McCabe face-to-face with an endless string of pricks from his past, each of whom he will have to engage in awkward conversation, and generally pretend to be happy about seeing again.

"They're all going to be there," said McCabe, purchasing an Amtrak train ticket for Rochester, NY. "Every last one of them, just as shitty and conceited and phony as ever."

"I can't believe I'm going to see all those assholes again," McCabe continued.

Though he will initially intend to stay at home with his parents, grandparents, and other relatives, McCabe told reporters that after spending approximately five hours in their company, he will grow antsy, borrow his father's car, and drive to nearby Marleybone Pub. There, McCabe expects to bump into at least five insufferable assholes in the first three minutes.

"Guaranteed Ricky Cook will be there," said McCabe, adding that there isn't much else to do in his hometown. "And probably Vanessa Torres, and that dickhead Michael Schmidt. Yeah, Schimdt will definitely be there. Probably be hammered, too."

At Marleybone, McCabe will be required to partake in a number of unpleasant activities, including making small talk with several assholes who used to openly mock him during high school, and reminiscing about the "good old days" of which he was never a part. While the consumption of alcohol will initially make the evening more tolerable, McCabe is ultimately expected to leave the bar after realizing he has just as little in common with all these assholes as he did when he was 15.

"Katie Reynolds will probably come up and give me a big hug like we're the best of friends, even though she never once talked to me during school, and pretty much acted like I was invisible the whole time," McCabe said. "Boy, I can't wait to hug that bitch again."

After leaving Marleybone, the 26-year-old predicts he will patronize Bud Murphy's Tavern, a favorite haunt for locals, where an even greater number of assholes are expected to congregate in even higher densities.

Assholes such as Craig Horble, Kyle Davis, Vinny Iagosa, Brittany Pipitone, Justin Smigowski, Nick Casey, and Nick's asshole brother, Dennis.

According to McCabe, all the assholes in attendance will look the same except for being 10 to 20 pounds heavier, and possibly sporting a new beard or goatee. However, that same old shit-eating grin will still be on all their faces, McCabe reported.

If previous years are any indication, assholes who live in the area will not be the only ones out the night before Thanksgiving. Like McCabe, who since graduation has moved to New York, many Marshall High School alumni are expected to return from their new homes all across the country.

"I bet Bill Harding is going to show up and talk about his big lawyer job in San Francisco," McCabe said. "I can see it now: 'You know, hours are a real bitch. Money's good, though.' I've known that guy since fifth grade. He's always been an asshole."

Early reports indicate that the mingling of assholes will likely trigger a fight between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., with a scuffle expected moments after two giant assholes argue over who rushed for more touchdowns during senior year. McCabe said that he usually tries to avoid any involvement in these fights, but nonetheless anticipates an elbow to his forehead or at the very least a spilled drink on his pants.

"[Wayne] Maldonado just loves to run his mouth, especially when it comes to talking shit about people's girlfriends," McCabe continued. "He used to be kind of scary when we were all in school, but the guy is almost 30 now. I feel kind of bad for him."

Though he remains anxious about the inevitable fracas, McCabe explained that those experiences are usually counterbalanced with more pleasurable events, such as finding out which assholes now have kids.

"I heard Marissa Feely got knocked up this year," he said. "What is that? The third time?"

The 26-year-old is not the only one dreading the upcoming week. Several Marshall High School alumni have expressed similar misgivings about running into former classmates on the night before Thanksgiving.

"I can't believe McCabe is coming back," said local resident Ricky Cook. "That guy's such a fuckin' asshole."

You can fly, you can fly, you can FLY!

My favorite Disney sequence is in Peter Pan, when they are flying to Never Never Land... (Who's isn't?) And, shocker, my favorite ride at Disneyland (the happiest place on earth, next to my bed) is the Peter Pan ride. The best part of that ride is (get ready for it...) when you fly over London to Never Never land!

I went to London a few years back, and then again a year later. I absolutely fell in love with it. I think it is the only other city I could live in.

These photos will make you feel like Peter Pan. Or in my case, like Wendy.








Monday

"The future will be better tomorrow..."

I usually don't find Bush-hate funny, (that is SO 2005) but this one is pretty good...

Dear Fellow Constituent:

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, they make you to go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
The Supreme Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.

Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.

The library will also include many famous Quotes by George W. Bush:

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'

'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.'

'No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine.'

'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.'

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'

'Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.'

'I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.'

'The future will be better tomorrow.'

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'

'One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.' (during an education photo-op)

'Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.'

'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson

PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!
Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff, Co-Chair
G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors

forever



Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever

Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone
but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever

No one I think is in my tree
I mean it must be high or low
That is you can't, you know, tune in
but it's all right
That is I think it's not too bad

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever

Always know sometimes think it's me
But you know I know when it's a dream
I think I know I mean, ah yes
but it's all wrong
that is I think I disagree

Let me take you down
cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Strawberry fields forever
Strawberry fields forever

the Twelves




The Twelves will be at Popscene! If you haven't heard their remixes, CHECK YO'SELF!

The Renaissance




He's baaaaackkkk....and btw- If you don't know, now you KNOW. Can't WAIT to see what The Standard brings.

I Blame Nikki.



GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. Adge and I have a new obsession... I BLAME NIKKI.

Guilty Pleasure

Thursday

"$40 gets you Fonzie"



I just got two tix for the sold out Mickey Avalon/Dirt Nasty/Beardo show tonight @ Slims. I am SOOOO happy!! $40 better get me Fonzie.

And I am aware that "My Dick" is a Dyslexic Speedreaders song, but the vid is rad. (And I'm SURE they'll play it tonight)

Gmail=TEASE



THIS IS SO NOT FAIR. It's taking Gmail 'a couple of weeks' to roll out their new themes according to their blog... Nikki and Leens BOTH have them, yet I DO NOT. And that just makes me want the themes even more, obvi. Stop playing with my emotions Google!!

Wednesday

Movember!




That is what Ash would look like if she could grow a stash, and that is me supporting her.




My dear freind Ashley is fighting the good fight. Donate to her cause- MOVEMBER!


Here is what she has to say:
Howdy!

I've joined a team of “Mo Bros” who are growing Moustaches for Movember (the month formerly known as November) to help the fight against prostate cancer. Since I am a “Mo Sista” (werrrd to whoever came up with that term), I can’t actually grow a filthy stache, but that doesn’t mean I can’t raise money for the cause.

Gentlemen.. Prostate cancer could one day affect your prized possessions, AND Ladies.... this could one day affect your husband / boyfriend / lover’s prized parts. Either way it is a lose / lose for everyone here. So I know it is the holiday time, and we are all a bunch of broke poor cheap asses (blame it on the economy) but I am sure you can all afford to donate a little something to support me. Every penny (this does not mean donate only a penny) counts.

To Donate online using your credit card or PayPal account click on this link:
https://www.movember.com/us/donate/donate-details.php?action=sponsorlink®o=1908961&country=us

All donations are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law. So use this when you are freaking out over taxes next year!

The money raised by Movember is donated directly to the Prostate Cancer Foundation which will use the funds for high-impact research to find better treatments and a cure for prostate cancer.

Oh yeh, and please forward this on to anyone you think would be willing to contribute to my imaginary stache.



Xxxxxx Ash

"Busy as a Beaver, Ya Best Believe"

It is important that you watch this.

WOAAH Brown Betty, Ramalam!

Pumpkin pie is great, but I'm always one for mixing it up...



Perry’s Old-Time Apple Brown Betty Recipe
Serves six

Ingredients
5-6 Granny Smith apples, peeled and thinly sliced (¼-inch)
½ tbsp. ground cinnamon
¾ tbsp. granulated sugar
2¼ c. all-purpose flour
2¼ c. dark brown sugar
4/5 of a stick unsalted butter, melted

1. Toss apple slices in sugar and cinnamon.
2. Mix flour and brown sugar on low speed with a mixer.
3. Slowly add butter to flour and brown sugar and mix until you get a sand-like consistency.
4. Butter and flour bottom and sides of 9-by-9 baking dish.
5. Pour ¼-inch layer of flour/sugar/butter crumble into dish.
6. Add a single layer of apples. Gently: Don’t press down.
7. Continue layering: ¼-inch of crumble, then apples.
8. Finish with a layer of crumble. (When complete, there should be two layers of apples, with a thin layer of crumble on the bottom and in the middle and a more substantial layer on top.) Cover with foil.
9. Bake at 350° for 90 minutes.
10. Serve hot with vanilla ice cream.

Tuesday

Kelly McFarling & Stitchcraft

I went to go see Brandon and Zak play Hotel Utah's open mic night last night. They never played, but someone posing as "Brandon Whitmore" sure did. (Zak Belanger, you're full of shit)

I did see two acts that I really liked. One is Kelly McFarling, and she's darling. See her video below.




The other act I really enjoyed was Stitchcraft. They are playing at the Bazzare Bizarre, which will round out the holiday weekend nicely. And it's held in Golden Gate Park's Botanical Garden, which I have yet to see...

Thursday

THREAD


This Sunday is the Thread show at the Galleria. Get your tix now, this is sure to be a rad event. Sample prices, art shows, DJs & drinks? You betcha! Find out more info & purchase tix here.

Tuesday

FLAIR BEAR

"Looks like someones got a case of the Monday's..."


Why is it that I am so addicted to the Flair application on Facebook? They are little pieces of heaven, in my opinion. If Jennifer Aniston's characther from Office Space got to choose from theses hot lil' babies, I doubt she would have been such a Debbie Downer.

Quote of the Year


"Your voice is like a mix between Fergie and Jesus."

BLITZEN TRAPPER

12/2 @ the Independent!!!


Friday Night

Friday

No Sleep 'Till...



I wan't to go back to NY. Who's down? I need a vacation.

Quote of the Day

"I'm ready to stink like happiness."

Kittin Hawk ♥


Kittin Hawk brings new meaning to the lyrics, "Funky-fresh, dressed to impress, ready to party."

These designs might be the freshest thing I've seen this year. I am thoroughly convinced that their line of accessories might be the ticket to world peace. Everyone would feel so fabulous wearing these pieces- nobody would want to fight in fear of damaging the fabulousness. I am currently trying to figure out which one I will undoubtedly ruin on NYE. You must, and I mean MUST check this shit out for yourselves. Kittin Hawk, you dirty little bastard.

You can buy these beauties at Belljar. If you haven't been, go immediately.

Halloween costume winner, 2008


Miss Erin, for "Miss Piggy goes to Vegas, and wins BIG"

Wednesday

Quote of the Day

"You can't legislate love."

A Block For Barack!


Last night, November 4, 2008, will go down in the history books. Not only because Americans joined together and voted for change, but because the afterparties were redic. I attended the block party on Divis between Hayes and Grove, and let me tell you- between the bongo-drum-beating boys and the 50-something-year old rapper and his DJ, it was a sight to be seen. It started innocently enough, but then as the crowd grew, the cops came and tried to shut us down. Two dirty looking kids got arrested, and Nikki got her beers taken by a cop. Finally, there were just too many people there. So you know what the cops did? They shut down the street for us, and let us rage for a few hours! AMAZING! There is something so poetic about electing a politician you believe in, standing in a bar window drinking a homemade cocktail, all the while listening to the Beatles and Ratatat blaring out from inside the bar. I ♥ America, and I live in the greatest city of all. Oh, and that's me, in all my patriotic glory...

the faux-line up!

Don't be fooled, a fake line up appears every year for Coachella. I was reading an article about it, and the author thought that it was funny that they 'blatantly made a mockery of it by writing LMFAO on Sunday's line up." What an idiot. Do they not know the anthem, "I'm in Miami BITCH".... DO YOUR HOMEWORK! I would be down for Bowie though! Wishfull thinking...

NME Cool List 2008

I ♥ the Cool List. I don't ♥ that Peter Gabriel is 'cooler' than Karen O. Puh-lease.


50. Jon McClure, Reverend & The Makers
[new entry]
In an age of apolitical hedonists, The Rev is a beacon of conscience and political engagement. You might not always agree with what he says, but in the current apocalyptic climate, rock needs outspoken firebrands like McClure more than ever.

49. Carl Barat
[re-entry]
2008 was a rough year for the man Pete Doherty used to call Biggles, with serious illness and poor album sales conspiring to spell the end for Dirty Pretty Things. Yet Carlos retains an indelible aura of cool and his recent announcement that The Libertines have "unfinished business" bodes well for 2009.

48. Lethal Bizzle
[last year: 5]
He's slipped down the rankings since 2007, when he made Number Five on the back of his Gallows collaboration. Even so, any man who can face down a knuckle-headed Download festival bottling without losing his cool – as Bizzle did in June 2008 – deserves respect.

47. Eva Spence, Rolo Tomassi
[new entry]
Sheffield hardcore bruisers Rolo Tomassi wouldn't be half as thrilling without the razor-raw vocals of Spence, whose guttural banshee screams belie her demure appearance.

46. Matt Bellamy, Muse
[last year: 27]
Whether he's holding Wembley Stadium in thrall or discussing intergalactic conspiracy theories, Bellamy's greatest gift is his childlike impulsiveness. This is a man who once strapped a praying mantis to a rocket and sent it hurtling skyward, for a laugh.

45. Brian Fallon, The Gaslight Anthem
[new entry]
Like fellow New Jersey-resident Bruce Springsteen, Fallon brings a heartfelt everyman quality to his band's galloping punk rock. Fallon's clear-eyed lyrics made The Gaslight Anthem's second album, 'The 59 Sound', one of 2008's most welcome surprises.

44. Gruff Rhys, Neon Neon
[new entry]
Twelve years on from Super Furry Animals' debut album, and a year after calling time on his solo project due to "musical indifference", Gruff Rhys staged 2008's most unlikely comeback, notching up a Mercury nomination for the debut Neon Neon album, 'Stainless Style', his collaboration with producer Boom Bip.

43. Karen O, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[last year: 28]
An avatar of cool, Karen O has made the Top 50 almost every year since the list was first compiled in 2002. It doesn't even matter that 2008 saw no Yeah Yeah Yeahs release, since her side project Native Korean Rock was impressive in itself, proving she could do minimalist alt-folk as well as caterwauling garage-rock:

42. Tom Vain – S.C.U.M.
[new entry]
Keyboardist Sam Kilcoyne might get the attention thanks to his involvement in the Underage Festival, but it's rail-thin frontman Vain who imbues this black-hearted mob with all their gothic portent.

41. Shunda K, Yo Majesty
[new entry]
One half of Florida's most potty-mouthed lesbian hip-hop duo, Shunda K is typical of the hard-partying, needle-in-the-red spirit that re-energised hip-hop in 2008.

40. Robert Plant
[new entry]
After the O2 reunion gig he could have toured the world with Led Zeppelin and banked millions. Instead he returned to his rootsy collaboration with Alison Krauss, preferring to move forward rather than wallow in past glories. And he still has hair like Aslan. Respect.

39. Robbie Furze, The Big Pink
[new entry]
Former Alec Empire guitarist Furze is one half of nihilistic drone-kings The Big Pink. The other half is Merok label boss Milo Cordell. You can download a free Big Pink track from the Radar blog, and check out their track 'Too Young To Love' below:

38. Jason Pierce, Spiritualized
[new entry]
After nearly dying from double pneumonia in 2007, this year Jason Pierce capped a remarkable comeback with the mesmeric 'Songs In A&E'. The Spiritualized veteran would have ranked even higher had he realised his ambition of playing a gig inside the Large Hadron Collider…

37. Brandon Flowers, The Killers
[last year: 44]
Sadly no placing for Brandon's moustache this year, which debuted at 18 in 2007. But there will always be room for Flowers in the NME Cool List, regardless of whether he ever gets to the bottom of that human/dancer conundrum:

36. Frank Carter, Gallows
[last year: 1]
"People think Kurt Cobain's cool, but he's dead, so how cool is he really?" So said Carter upon topping the 2007 Cool List, revealing a shaky grasp of rock n roll mythology. This year Carter stays in the list by dint of still being in the band, no matter how reluctantly, in spite of endless threats to become a full-time tattooist.

35. Little Boots
[new entry]
Rising starlet and NME blogger, Little Boots - aka 25-year-old Victoria Hesketh - helped shape a vintage year for electro; but you sense her best is yet to come.

34. DJ Mujava
[new entry]
'Township Funk' electrified hipster dancefloors across the country in 2008, while the rumours concerning the South African artist's fragile mental health only added to the intrigue.

33. Josh Homme, Queens Of The Stone Age
[last year: 41]
The desert-rock James Dean possesses a classic charisma that ensures he'll always be a Cool List contender. And news that he's working with Arctic Monkeys just makes us love him more.

32. Lovefoxxx, CSS
[last year: 3]
We were told CSS had "grown up" with second album 'Donkey'. Thankfully that didn't stop Lovefoxxx from dressing up in a silver dragon outfit (see below) and generally turning every UK festival into a riot of kaleidoscopic drunken joy. Again.

31. Rivers Cuomo, Weezer
[new entry]
2008 was the year he stopped acting batshit barmy and concentrated on writing amazing tunes again. 'Pork And Beans' boasted his best chorus in years (not to mention the best Weezer video since 'Buddy Holly'):

30. Will Roan, Amazing Baby
[new entry]
If MGMT ditched the neat synth hooks and indulged their prog-stoner instincts to the max, they'd sound like fellow Wesleyan Uni graduates Amazing Baby, whose frontman Will Roan is a tousle-haired VanWyngarden-in-waiting.

29. Scarlett Johansson
[new entry]
An album of Tom Waits covers, produced by Dave Sitek and featuring Nick Zinner: Johansson's debut album was so breathtakingly hip it made Alice Glass look like Harriet Harman. Whether anyone is still listening to it six months down the line is another matter.

28. Miles Kane, The Rascals/The Last Shadow Puppets
[new entry]
Would he have made the list on the strength of The Rascals? Unlikely. But Alex Turner coaxed a songwriting panache from Kane that had hitherto lain dormant. Meanwhile, few rocked a shirt-and-tie with as much flair as the Wirral lad did in 2008.

27. Yannis Philippakis, Foals
[last year: 45]
Not even getting arrested in the wake of an ugly fracas with John Lydon in July 2008 could slow the steady ascent of post-punk's hippest Oxford dropout.

26. Nick McCabe, The Verve
[new entry]
Take away guitarist McCabe and what have you got? Another Richard Ashcroft solo album. And no-one wants that.

25. Peter Gabriel
[new entry]
Yes, really. Chuffed at being name-checked in Vampire Weekend's 'Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa', the ex-Genesis man responded by teaming up with Hot Chip to cover the song. If only all prog dinosaurs were this clued up.

24. Zack de la Rocha, Rage Against The Machine
[new entry]
You probably wouldn't want to go for a pint with him, but RATM's comeback festival appearances reminded the world that de la Rocha is the master of vein-popping, moshpit-slaying iconoclasm.

23. Jamie Reynolds, Klaxons
[last year: 2]
OK, so he didn't really do much in 2008, but the uber-hedonist's wild-eyed determination to have a good time all the time stands as a lesson for us all in these joyless, gloomy times.

22. Jay Reatard
[new entry]
He's been making music for 10 years but it's only been in the last year, since signing to Matador, that the wider world has been turned on to this Memphis berserker's jittery garage-pop.

21. Damon Albarn
[re-entry]
It's been a good year for Albarn - only in 2008 has Albarn's abundant creativity found its most mature expression. Monkey opera is his business, and business is good.

20. Dev Hynes, Lightspeed Champion
[last year: 45]
The alt-folk troubadour scraped into the Top 50 last year, but that was before we heard 'Falling Off The Lavender Bridge', a debut album whose sun-dappled loveliness ensures an impressive jump of 25 places.

19. Florence Welch, Florence & The Machine
[new entry]
Combining megawatt charisma with a pin-you-to-the-wall vocal ferocity, Florence inspires devotion through sheer force of personality. Only a lunatic would bet against her making it big in 2009.

18. Ed MacFarlane, Friendly Fires
[new entry]
'Paris'' beatific chorus - "Every night we'll watch the stars/They'll be out for us" – demonstrates MacFarlane's ability to underpin his band's juggernaut beats with a kernel of big-hearted humanity.

17. Santogold
[last year: 48]
She used to be an R'n'B A&R, before quitting in protest at the way P Diddy was dominating the scene. Clearly, Santi White is someone whose instincts you can trust.

16. Ezra Koenig, Vampire Weekend
Over-educated and proud of it, Koenig has built up his own distinct lyrical world of collegiate eccentrics and Oxford commas. Not since Lynne Truss has grammatical propriety gained such a broad mainstream audience.

15. Johnny Marr
[new entry]
Tedious reactionaries scoffed at his decision to join The Cribs, but Marr proves that, in an era of endless big name reunions, the coolest thing an "elder statesman" can do is to move with the times, not trade on past achievements.

14. Dave Sitek, TV On The Radio
[re-entry]
Whether producing Foals and Scarlett Johansson or propelling his own band down ever more visionary vistas, Sitek's forward-thinking philosophy is crystallised by his own mantra: "Why mess around when you can fuck around?"

13. Lil Wayne
[new entry]
Forget the backstory – the cough syrup addiction, the fact he shot himself in the chest at 16 – and revel in the sheer, otherwordly strangeness of Lil Wayne's music. 'Tha Carter III' has sold 2.5 million copies. How did that happen?

12. Guy Garvey, Elbow
Elbow's Mercury Prize victory – ensuring 'overnight' success after 18 years – focused deserved attention on Garvey's qualities as a lyricist. Now he'll be singing 'Newborn' at Wembley Arena. Who saw that coming?

11. Pink Eyes, Fucked Up
[new entry]
The spirit of punk writ large, the swivel-eyed anarchy of Pink Eyes' onstage antics is doubly impressive when you consider that he also holds down a job in the film industry – though amazingly no-one he meets at work knows about his double life.

10. Caroline McKay, Glasvegas
[new entry]
She'd never played drums before she joined the band; frontman James Allan just recruited her on the grounds that she "looked like someone from a movie". Proof that some people are just born cool.

9. Liam Gallagher, Oasis
[re-entry]
The less Liam mouths off, the cooler he becomes. As Noel's rants increasingly enter grumpy old man territory, Liam is entering middle age with something approaching dignity.

8. M.I.A.
[last year: 11]
Just when you thought M.I.A. was destined to generate more style mag features than record sales, along came 'Paper Planes', an inter-continental radio smash that made M.I.A. properly famous as well as untouchably hip.

7. Caleb Followill, Kings Of Leon
[last year: 21]
Beyond the carnal exhilaration of 'Sex On Fire', 'Only By The Night' was a surprisingly nuanced album lyrically, with Followill wrestling with desire, self-disgust and, on 'Cold Desert', overpowering religious guilt. A man of intriguing hidden depths.

6. Ladyhawke
[new entry]
Live she's so shy she can barely look at the audience, yet Pip Brown's limitations as a performer are an intrinsic part of her appeal, creating an enthralling disjunction between the euphoria of the music and the punishing self-doubt of its creator.

5. Sam Dust, Late Of The Pier
[new entry]
It takes a true maverick to grow up in Castle Donington and become, not a denim-clad rocker or downcast screamo fan, but rather a purveyor of hyper-energetic, splatter-gun electro. In Dust we trust.

4. Alex Turner, Arctic Monkeys/The Last Shadow Puppets
[last year: 6]
Despite the best efforts of girlfriend Alexa Chung, Turner is still cool, with The Last Shadow Puppets proving he can play the role of the debonair Scott Walker-type as well as that of the caustic kitchen-sink poet.

3. Andrew VanWyngarden, MGMT
[new entry]
2008 saw the words "shamanic" and "cosmic" bandied around more recklessly than at any time since 1973, and it was primarily down to MGMT's bandana-clad frontman, the blissed-out figurehead for a new generation of inner-vision voyagers.


2. Jay-Z
[re-entry]
"For those that didn't get the memo, my name is Jay-Z and I'm pretty fucking awesome." With these words the rapper introduced his Glastonbury headline set, surely one of the most talked-about live performances of all time, and created an unforgettable moment of grandstanding hip-hop theatre in the process.

1. Alice Glass, Crystal Castles
[new entry]
Whether forcing Glastonbury organisers to pull the plug on her crazed onstage antics or eliciting gasps with tales of her nihilistic, rootless upbringing ("bonfires and fights and endless pills"), Glass was a black hole at the centre of 2008, utterly magnetic yet thrillingly inscrutable. Is she remotely bothered about topping the Cool List? What do you think?



Hello Alice, how do you feel about being named the coolest person on planet Earth in 2008?
"I'm flattered, but back in school the people who held themselves in the same regard were the biggest waste of skin I've ever met".

Why do you think you got so many votes?
"My pact with Satan hasn't expired yet."

What's the coolest thing you own?
"Slaves."

Who is your cool icon?
"We need new idioms, we need to stop talking like beatniks."

Does cool even matter?
"Nothing matters. We're all dust."

Insound 20



The Curiosity Shoppe does it again.
Beginning November 21, they will once again be exhibiting and selling the amazing posters by designer Jason Munn of The Small Stakes. This year, in conjunction with Insound, Jason created 20 brand new, mind-blowing, limited-edition screenprints.
Opening Reception with Jason Munn from The Small Stakes Friday, November 21st, 6-9 pm at the Curiosity Shoppe.

If you go to Insounds' site, you can buy t-shirts and hoodies with the prints as well.

Some of the bands included in this collection are:
Death Cab
Grizzly Bear
Jose Gonzalez
Beirut
The Decemberists
The National
She & Him
...and more


My personal favorite print is the one he did for Nouvelle Vague:

CH CH CH CH CHAAANGES!